"IN THE END, WE ONLY REGRET THE CHANCES WE DIDN'T TAKE"
Written by Tobias Moir.
To this day, people still ask me how the ‘fitness training’ is going.
They say things like, “I haven’t seen you training folk in the gym for a while”, or “things must be tough with the economy”.
“no ones got money for PTs. That’s why your always sitting in the coffee shop”.
I reassure and try to convince them that I’m ok, that I am the managing director of a company called BODYCORE, and a Mentor to aspiring personal trainers.
The ‘fitness instructor’ label, I only really carried for about 1 year, more then 20 years ago!
In Canada as well- far away from those who think they know me.
I’ve NEVER in fact uttered the words “I am a fitness instructor”…I knew even then, it was a very temporary transition to PT.
The constant ‘convincing’ that I need to do, to let people know that it wasn’t a failure that led me to my current situation, ( but was more like a personal evolution), is hilarious to behold.
My wife especially finds it humorous as she’s witnessed it first hand on several occasions. I’ve given up correcting people.
After all, my happiness is not dependant on their acceptance of me or my ‘label’.
Personal training was a label I (happily) carried for 18 years, and in many ways of course, it still very much applies to me.
After all, I run a company that certifies personal trainers!
DON’T LET A LABEL DEFINE YOU!
Labels however, are dangerous things.
They don’t always serve us well, and can often restrict us. Box us in. Dictate to us.
It makes people feel more comfortable if they know what all their friends and loved ones do, what their jobs are, who they are with, what their bodies look like, what faith they follow, or what foods they like to eat.
Real CHANGE challenges everything.
Not just you and your mindset, emotions, eating habits and habitual behaviours, but also the minds and hearts of those in your life.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
There is often a strong RESISTANCE from those around us when we wish to change.
It may not be verbal, in fact they will often congratulate you on your new choices and say that they wish you all the best, but this is often not how they truly feel.
The people who are MOST threatened by our change tend to be our family, and our closest friends.
These tend to be the very people who RESIST the CHANGE the most.
The issue at hand is that you challenge their world view.
If you were once a fitness instructor, and are now a managing director, doctor, business owner or personal trainer, this can effect them on a deep level.
This ‘challenge’ to their world view brings up all manner of feelings, and depends of course on what they’ve been doing with their life, whether they’ve grown and moved on, whether they have plans of change.
The feelings may be doubt, suspicion, anger, frustration, resentment, jealousy and many other negative emotions.
PEOPLE LIKE TO HAVE YOU PEGGED!
These feelings harboured seemingly against you, often have very little to do with YOU.
They almost always have to do with the said individuals own life.
The lack of change, the routine, the REGRET in their own lives and situations.
They are upset that you’ve gone and BETTERED yourself, and they haven’t, and feel worse about their own situations.
You’re showing them up as the failures that they feel they are already.
Your change is a THREAT!
“How dare you change and leave me here!” Is the subconscious plea that is screamed at you.
FIND COMFORT IN DISCOMFORT
Whilst chasing your dreams and goals, and you are being ridiculed, bullied, frowned upon, if others are threatening friendships and relationships with you, if they’re asking you to choose them over your dreams, if you feel you can’t tell people whom love you all the great things that are happening in your life, KEEP GOING!!
You are definitely on the right track.
Groups tend to resonate, act, think in the same manner.
When you step out of this herd mentality, you’ll be met with varying degrees of resistance.
This will feel very uncomfortable.
It will vary from mild distrust to outright aggression and everything in between.
So many people think “This is uncomfortable, people I love are doubting me, so this can’t be right. This can’t be good for me”.
They then give up on their dreams and goals and shrink back into their ‘comfort’ – that horribly little place where everyone has you pegged, and you are desperately unhappy.
Comfort is a coffin.
Sure, we need comfort on a daily basis, that sweet spot on the sofa with our chosen poison.
Human nature ( the society of trillions of cells that dictate so much to you), calls/screams out for such comfort…but this is NOT where growth takes place.
We rest here. We pause here. We re-boot here.
Discomfort though, this is where real growth takes place.
Here we are burned, beaten, sculpted, chastised, ridiculed, doubted, refined and ultimately perfected.
Discomfort moves you from subconscious conditioning (or comfort), to a conscious, results driven, action oriented warrior!
If you want to redefine yourself and your life.
If you want success over mediocrity.
If you want to step into authenticity -Chase discomfort!
It was said that:
“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do.”
RIGHT ACTION IS EVERYTHING!
The formula is simple.
- What is your VISION. How would you envision your life as having been a success? Use mind mapping to get everything out of your head, to determine what you truly desire.
- Put the vision into SMART GOALS. Monthly and weekly ones work best!
- Break down the weekly SMART GOALS into daily ACTIONS, that bring about the results which lead to accomplishment of the WEEKLY and MONTHLY goals.
- Have a Mentor to be accountable to! Share your goals and action plan on a weekly basis with someone whom you are accountable to. This is crucial.
- Celebrate the successes of stepping into discomfort, with more discomfort! Your subconscious, ( the society of trillions of cells) becomes dependant, addicted, hard wired and focused on, that which you FEED it most.
- Success is a habit. A condition. Becoming hardwired to succeed is a daily ritual, of doing ‘that which one feels stretched to do’. DO IT!
WHO EVER SAID THAT COMFORT WAS AN INGREDIENT FOR GROWTH.